18. Will it ever be enough?

Previously On Ice Cold Case

The office has come a long way. And I can absolutely, one hundred percent agree mistakes were made by the original investigating officers. And I don’t think… It definitely wasn’t purposeful.

It was an inside job. That’s what everyone always said. It was an inside job.

Maybe explore Belmont County more because I will tell you… Belmont County – there’s a reason why, you know, it was so easy to run drugs there back in the day along the river.

There’s a saying in Belmont County… If you’re gonna kill someone – do it in Belmont County.

Sorry. This is so crazy.
You didn't think I'd show, huh
Well, I never expected to hear from you ever in my whole life.

The reason why I reached out is because I know in my heart of hearts as much as I – I say I can’t stand him. Um, I know he didn’t do it.

That voice still sticks in my head.

I'm going to find out. 
I want you to find out

Part 0: How Did I Get Here?

When I was a kid, if you had asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up the answer would have changed week to week. Some days it was a doctor. Some days it was a lawyer. A lot of days it was filmmaker. It was never an investigative journalist. 

I believe that fate guides a lot of our paths. We hold some control in our decisions and our actions, but there is part of me that believes ultimately, where we’re going is where we’ll end up. But here – podcasting about my dad’s murder – investigating the ins and outs of a washed up town in Ohio, was certainly not on my career list in elementary school.

But this isn’t my career. It's my life. It's my family. It's personal and so much has changed since I first gained access to J.C. McGhee’s case files. When I started this investigation, I was in my mid twenties, the world was shut down, I was intimidated by the density of it all. There was so much there and I had never even seen a case file before. To all of a sudden be handed 9-1-1 transcripts and witness testimonies and autopsy reports – it was a lot to take in.

Now, four years later, I feel like I'm a completely different person. I’m creeping up on 30, the world doesn’t flinch when you sneeze in public, and I am much bolder in the face of discomfort than I ever thought I would be. This journey has shown me just how much I am capable of. 

The people I've met along the way have opened my eyes to see the world in a new light, even if they don’t know it yet. Growing up, I was never naive to the fact that bad things happen, but it was second nature to believe that there was good in everyone. Now, I don’t believe that.

Since I've started investigating, I sometimes can’t believe all that I have done in the name of finding my dad’s murderer. Apart from catapulting this case into the mainstream media, almost exactly eight months ago I traveled solo to face my dad’s alleged killer – Daryl Smith.

But see, wrong place, wrong time that listen,
You weren’t there.
I wasn't there like. And when you look, all you have to do and shit like – How did they miss this? How did they miss this? If he said this, why didn't they investigate this? Why didn’t? You know what I mean? Like, it's a lot of shit. Like, if you're an investigator, you have to be – You went to school to investigate. Investigate crimes. What's going on? Why aren't you? Ok. He said this. Well, we're just going to give up because Omar keeps –  You can't give him the fucking – He was the initial person that he took him to the house. It's a cold case now. Twenty something years later. But you’re on it and shit. You’re going to get your blessings and maybe like if you –  the universe is real. Maybe you pops’ll deliver some and shit. Hey! It's possible. It's that energy like – keep doing what you’re doing. You might really solve this case.

For a moment I thought there’s no way he was capable of murder. For a moment I trusted his charm. After eight episodes and more information thrown at me from many different directions, I started to doubt that feeling of trust. And slowly, it disappeared.

My life could have taken me in a million different directions… Sometimes it’s easy to point to those big moments that steer our lives. If my dad’s family had put a headstone on his grave, then I would have never taken that trip with my mom 12 years ago. If I didn’t see Omar that day, I would have never had that gut feeling that something was off. I may not have ever found out the truth about my dad’s murder at all. But looking back on this investigation, and all the little things that have added up, I’m staring at this case wondering how the hell did I get here…

Part 1: Evolution of the Case

Taking a look at where my investigation has led me, it’s very clear that whatever I’m doing… is kind of working. Episode nine I left you with my theory, and after a break, I came back with new information, more tips, and a sit down with Daryl Smith. Every week now, it seems like there’s something new and that’s progress. But it takes a lot to organize it all. And even then, one new thing will come in just as I’m processing something else. It’s a whirlwind.

I might not be the most unbiased journalist out there when it comes to this story. But I never promised that. I might repeat myself while I try to process all the information I am gathering, but hearing shocking details for the first time and trying to process them while also turning it into an engaging podcast isn’t easy. But the one thing that I have promised is that I will do whatever it takes to solve this case.

And we’ve created momentum. I say we and I don’t just mean my team. I mean you, whoever you are listening to this. You and I have grown this into something that is undeniable now. This entire case has evolved because you hit play on eighteen episodes.

In the beginning, this was all very exploratory. I was just trying to find out what I could and putting it out in hopes that some people would feel compelled to keep listening. It’s much more than that now. This show is as much an investigative method as it is a show. I’m able to present theories and get feedback in real time, hear from people who have connections in the area, and get closer to the truth. As things shift quickly, my pivots have to be swift. And as simple as it all appears on paper, there’s still a big question around motive and if my dad’s murder was an accident or on purpose.

Part 2: Intentional or Accident

At first glance, this case seems so simple. It’s 45 minutes. That’s it. From the time that the men broke into Omar’s house to the time that the police arrived at the scene – 45 minutes. I’ve spent over ten hours talking about this 45 minutes. Family members have spent 22 years grieving it. But that 45 minutes takes up so much space in my brain. I replay some pieced together version of that 45 minutes at least ten times a day, trying to imagine all the possibilities. Trying to put the puzzle pieces together in my brain. But there’s so much missing it’s hard to know which way to turn the puzzle.

For a case that resulted in my dad’s death, he is such a small part of the event as a whole. I’m sitting with my eyes closed, visualizing the morning, just trying to make sense of it all. Because the motive is so unclear the questions become so open ended. Why? Who wanted to my kill my dad? What did they want from him? Was he in the wrong place at the wrong time? 

The biggest hole in the investigation is the motive – was my dad a target? Or was his death an accident? Is there something in between? 

I have some theories forming about why these four guys were at Omar’s house that morning. My main theory is they were trying to get cash or drugs, and I think their intentions may have to be to get in and out quickly, but then things took a turn. And I have thoughts about why the Fostons would be so quick to pivot the storylines. I’m not sure Omar has ever told the story of what happened that morning the same way twice, ever. It is constantly shifting. But there must be a motive for that, too. 

I think this safe plays a bigger role than anyone I spoke to wants to admit. I think that the safe had drug money in it and the Fostons want to protect that fact more than they want to solve their brother and uncle’s murder. I think they are so protective over their reputations or possibly the guilt that this chain of events started with them, that they want to brush it all under the rug. There is not a doubt in my mind based on witness testimony and these case files that that safe and whatever was in it belonged to Richard Foston. There’s conflicting storylines in the case files about whether the safe was actually in the house. Some people say it was and they couldn’t get into it, or it was and it was empty. Some say it wasn’t there at all. Could they really not remember or were they protecting whatever implications come with this safe? 

Richard was never questioned. What does he know – about that safe, these guys, their motive? That information could unlock this whole thing and put an end to this manhunt. But it’s never been that simple. Everyone is in self-preservation mode. Though, I’m not sure what they are preserving.

Part 3: What’s Missing

I may not know the motive, but I do know the prime suspects from both the police’s investigation and my own. But the police haven’t been exactly collaborative with me, even though it seems like we have the same goal – to solve this case. 

If Daryl Smith is still the main suspect, I would like to see why they really dropped his charges. I was never given his supposed lie detector test that he says got him off the hook. But I have also not seen a transcript of Omar’s testimony during the Grand Jury that forced the hand of Frank Pierce, the Belmont County Prosecutor in 2002, to drop the charges on Daryl Smith. So I’d like to have hard evidence of this lie detector and also know what Omar said on the stand. 

And there is no reason for the Belmont County Sheriff’s Department or the Prosecutor’s Office to keep these from me. Unless they are also in self-preservation mode. But again, I’m not sure what they would be preserving – definitely not their integrity or trustworthiness. 

All these seemingly small pieces of information could all add up to something big that I’m not seeing. 

I know what I’m missing, but for some things, I’m not sure how to get it without working directly with the police. I’m still not sure what they have that they haven’t told me about.

Part 4: Connecting the Dots

With so many missing puzzle pieces, I have to stop relying on the people I’ve kept going back to for answers. Not only am I not getting the answers I need, but I simply don’t trust them.

I haven’t been trained to be an investigator – obviously – and this is a 22 year old case with at least 10 different versions of events floating around, it’s never been a clear path but I keep asking myself “what should I do next?” A few weeks ago, I was racking my brain trying to answer that question. And then I figured it out. I have been analyzing these case files word for word, not action for action. But I need to visualize what happened first, then second, how long would it take to get from point A to point B, if someone said they were on this side of the bridge, what route would they take to get to the other side. Those are things you can only know if you do them – if you retrace the steps. There’s information I can only get if I show up in person to get it. So that’s the next big step in this investigation and I’m turning my focus to tracking people down and re-creating moments.

There’s been one person that, regardless of their involvement or lack thereof in this case, is the missing link that I need to connect the dots. It’s almost like the thought of talking to him has been haunting me for years – Rico McGhee. 

As terrifying as Rico sounds, he’s my only option to get any information or nudged in a direction. And you probably remember that I got really close to talking to him. Then it was radio silence, I was worried that he slipped right through my fingers. But after months of back and forth, I got him on the phone. And after an hour, he made an offer – “reach out anytime.”

Part 5: My Theory

As I move forward, I like to take inventory of where I stand. And now that I have theorized, researched, and adjusted everything based on tips and new information, what is my current hypothesis?

I left off the last installment with my Daryl Smith theory, I was all but sure he was there when my dad was murdered. But after meeting with him and feeling like I could have been wrong, the cycle of doubt had me wondering if I can even trust my own instinct.

Self doubt is inevitable. Even the most confident person you know experiences a level of questioning every now and then. I have felt an overwhelming amount of imposter syndrome lately. I think to myself, if I was capable of solving this, I would have by now. Maybe I don’t have it in me. Maybe I’m just not doing enough. What is enough? I have wanted to quit more this summer than at any other point in this journey. It is unbelievably frustrating to have his dead end after dead end or even worse, be lied to and misdirected down the wrong road. 

When I met up with Daryl Smith, I was so hard on myself for “pretending” to be a journalist that I almost felt obligated to prove myself wrong. Who am I to solve a murder? And I don’t have any of the training to get it right, so maybe I didn’t. That was a strong driving force for arranging a time to meet up in person. I wanted him to tell me he didn’t do it, and I wanted to believe him.

If you remember, Daryl has been arrested again. He’s in jail waiting for his trial. I know he has ears everywhere so can someone relay this message to him? So do I.

I got a message last week that gave me chills. I have never felt a pit in my stomach quite like I did when I was told that Daryl Smith is in there, bragging about getting away with murder.

Yes, you heard that correctly.

Do you ever have that moment when past moments and memories sort of flash in your mind and you see them from a completely different angle? You notice things you didn’t notice before. You see the missteps and mistakes that weren’t obvious from where you were standing. That’s kind of how I feel about my interaction with Daryl Smith. I was so blinded by my own self doubt that I missed a lot of key signs. Daryl wasn’t trying to help me. He was trying to help himself. In whatever sick and twisted way he thought about it, if he didn’t kill my dad and didn't know what happened, what was the point of meeting with me? And now my thoughts and my theories have all unraveled.

Sometimes you don’t know why, but you just know you have to trust your gut. So after viewing Daryl Smith as the most likely suspect, then going back to the drawing board to find a new angle, I relistened to my interview with Daryl. This time, I looked at the larger picture – I saw someone who was trying to cover their tracks, someone who definitely had the connections to be there that morning, and someone who wouldn’t want to get caught. So of course that’s not enough to convict someone in court and not enough for me to say with utter certainty that Daryl Smith pulled the trigger on my dad. But it’s definitely enough for me to question his denial and enough for him to jump right back up to the top of my suspect list.

I’m sure you were all thinking that I was going to come out with a new theory. A part of me thought I would too, but I can’t fight my intuition on this one. It's been a driving force my entire life. It might be how I got here, to this point. I can’t go against it now.

Part 6: Build It and They Will Come

I need to pause the show to do more investigating. So this will be the last episode for a while. I don’t want to slow the momentum or the traction that my dad’s case might be getting, but it’s simply not feasible for me to investigate such strong leads that require a lot of time, and put out new episodes. I want to keep asking for help from the public and try to solve this case with as many people behind me as possible. There is so much that goes into the making of this show creatively outside of the actual material that it takes up so much time that I need to put into research. So for the good of the case, I am leaving LA for a few months and I am going to talk to people who can provide more information.

Right now, at this exact moment, I feel like I have nothing left. There is something that won’t let me quit. I have to keep going because this job isn’t done. Of course, the main focus was always to solve this case, but the vision has changed overtime. After meeting people who resonate with this story, who have also lost people they care about and don’t have answers – there is an added responsibility that wasn’t there before. This isn’t just about my dad, it’s about what he represents.

If there is anything I want you to take away from this show, this story, this entire process it’s this: No one deserves to be murdered. No one. No matter their lifestyle. No matter their occupation. No matter the circumstance. No one’s murder is justifiable. Including John Cornelius McGhee. So I do not care if he was a drug dealer, turned informant, who had a shady past – my dad did not deserve to be shot in the doorway of his home with his daughter down the hallway, no matter what. 

It’s about more than solving a case. Without this show, the backstory, the man behind the front door, the father, the son, the brother, the uncle, wouldn’t have mattered. He would have been nothing more than a “confidential informant shot in the morning of July 11, 2002”. You wouldn’t know the name J.C. McGhee. But because of this show, I had the chance to humanize this man, his life, and his legacy.  

There’s that old adage: Build it and they will come. And that’s sort of been the motto around here for a while. Build up the knowledge, build up the podcast, build up the interest and maybe this case will get solved. But now I’m stuck. I’ve used up all my materials. I’ve talked to everyone I can get a hold of. I’ve interviewed anyone who will answer me. I’ve made 18 episodes of this thing. What more can I possibly build?

I’ve spent years trying to build off the police’s case and hearing theories from my family and the entire town. But now I am presented with the unique opportunity – to build my own case. 

I’m no longer interested in criticizing my family and the police for protecting their secrets. I have to be more proactive than that. I guess the shot in the arm I needed was to sit three feet away from my dad’s killer. Now I have to prove it. Let me rephrase, I will prove it.

You might see me, running around the side streets of Belmont County over the next few months, if that makes you squirm… good. You might hear that I stopped by a neighbor’s house to ask some questions or have been talking to local businesses. Maybe I’ll come directly to you to just chop it up and talk about J.C. McGhee. If you think I’m coming to talk to you, I am. If you’re worried about getting exposed, you will be. If you killed my dad, your day in court is coming.

And in that way… I guess I’m still kind of like Batman.

Call to Action:

Thank you so much for listening to Ice Cold Case and joining me on my journey to find out who killed my dad, J.C. McGhee. If you’d like to support this show, consider following the show, rating, and writing a review wherever you are listening. If you know someone who would be interested, consider sharing it with them. You are all making a huge impact on this case and your download lets Belmont County know, there’s a lot of people who want to know what happened to J.C. on July 11, 2002. Thank you for helping me solve my dad’s murder. Please keep the momentum going while the show takes a small break. Please don’t stop talking about the J.C. McGhee. Please continue to help me find justice. And I’ll see you soon for Part 3.

Credits:

Ice Cold Case is brought to you by Yes!
It is written, hosted, and produced by Madison McGhee
Also produced by Jeremy Benbow
Mixed by Cody Campbell 
Original music by Matt Bettinson
Creative direction by AJ Christianson
Creative consulting by Hoff

A video version of this episode is available on our YouTube Channel and a transcript is available at icecoldcase.com To submit any tips or information please email us at icecoldcasepodcast@gmail.com.